There are some days when the house feels a little quieter than usual.
Not necessarily because anything around you has changed.
Sometimes it’s just you who feels different.
Today is one of those days for me.
I’ve been thinking about my old job.
And I miss it.
I miss the people.
I miss the routine.
I miss having somewhere to go.
I miss knowing what I was supposed to be doing.
I miss being needed.
Honestly?
I miss all of it.
And somewhere underneath all that missing is a harder feeling to admit:
I feel useless.
That’s not an easy sentence to say out loud.
Because we live in a world that constantly teaches us to measure our value by what we accomplish.
What did you get done today?
What did you contribute?
What did you produce?
How productive were you?
And when the answers aren’t very impressive, it’s easy for that little voice in our head to whisper:
See? You’re not doing enough.
You’re not needed.
You’re not useful anymore.
But maybe we’ve gotten the whole thing backward.
Maybe our value was never supposed to come from how useful we are.
Maybe being useful is something we do.
It isn’t who we are.
Today, I cried.
And one of my cats noticed.
Adolf came over and climbed right onto me.
No questions.
No expectations.
No measuring whether I had accomplished enough to deserve his attention.
He just came and stayed.
And as I sat there with him, I thought about how strange it is that we can believe we have to do something to be worthy of love when the creatures who love us most don’t seem to require that at all.
Adolf didn’t need me to finish a project.
He didn’t need me to make a song.
He didn’t need me to crochet something.
He didn’t need me to check something off a list.
He just wanted to be with me.
Maybe God looks at us a little more like that than we realize.
Maybe He isn’t standing over us with a clipboard asking how productive we’ve been.
Maybe He’s sitting beside us.
Especially on the days when we’re crying.
Especially on the days when we don’t feel useful.
Especially on the days when all we can manage is to breathe and make it through.
I think sometimes we grieve old versions of ourselves.
The version who had a schedule.
The version who had a job.
The version who knew exactly where she belonged.
The version who could point to the end of the day and say, “I did something today.”
And it’s okay to miss her. You don’t have to pretend you don’t.
But missing that version of yourself doesn’t mean the version sitting here today has no purpose.
It means you’re still figuring out what this chapter looks like. And maybe that’s the uncomfortable part.
We want purpose to arrive with a name tag.
A job title.
A paycheck.
A schedule.
A clearly defined role.
But sometimes purpose looks much quieter than that.
Sometimes it’s creating something that makes another person smile. Sometimes it’s singing a song you needed to hear yourself. Sometimes it’s making something with your hands. Sometimes it’s showing up for someone. Sometimes it’s taking care of the people—or animals—you love.
And sometimes…
sometimes purpose looks like resting and letting someone else take care of you.
That’s a hard one for those of us who are used to being the ones who do.
So if you’re sitting in this Living Room with me today feeling a little useless… I want you to know something.
You are not useless. You are a person going through a transition. You are a person who misses something. You are a person whose heart is grieving a chapter that mattered. And you are still worthy of love in the middle of it.
You don’t have to prove your value today.
You don’t have to make yourself productive enough to deserve tomorrow.
You don’t have to have the next chapter figured out.
Maybe today, you just need to sit down.
Take a breath.
Let the tears come.
And maybe let a furry little creature climb into your lap and remind you that sometimes being loved is enough.
Because you are not what you accomplish.
You are not your job.
You are not your productivity.
You are you.
And you are still deeply, wonderfully worth loving.
So stay awhile.
The Living Room is always open. 💛
A little question for you…
Have you ever had a season where you didn’t feel useful anymore?
What helped you remember that your worth was bigger than what you could accomplish?
Come sit with me. Tell me about it. This is a conversation, after all.
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